Maxed Out Puppetry

Rupert mentioned in his blog about the Golden Question: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? When questions of such societal import arise during an election year, it’s important for us to confront them. By us, I mean, people who are running for president.

While I personally respect my opponents who disagree with me, I believe that Americans deserve an answer that settles the issue for the entire nation. Not just for the poultry lobbyists. The best thing for our country is that it was the egg.

It’s a matter of evolution. The animal that laid the first chicken egg was not quite a chicken. It was a proto-chicken. The animal inside the egg, though, had a genetic mutation. This lucky mutation was the one that transformed the creature inside that egg into a new species — a chicken. The rest is prehistory.

What was that mutation? We may never know. My theory is that the proto-chicken was a high-flyer. An air marathoner. But its egg hatched a bird with the little useless wings we would recognize as chicken wings. This was lucky, because the prehistoric air was filled with giant dino-mosquitoes that ate anything that entered its airspace. Since the chicken couldn’t fly that high, it never got eaten. All the proto-chickens got eaten. And the chickens have survived to this day.

We can’t answer this question without opening up another one. Should the chicken-or-egg debate be taught in public schools? It’s a controversial topic that has been going on since the Scopes Chicken Trial in 1925.

My answer is, yes, definitely. I believe schools should teach the most up-to-date theories from the greatest minds of our generation. And my chicken-or-egg theory is a product of my mind. And I am one of the greatest minds of our generation.

VOTE MARY-JANE FOR PRESIDENT IN 2008

www.maxedoutpuppetry.com/maryjanefreedom2008