Maxed Out Puppetry

As Halloween appraoches, let me remind you that using the word "chicken" as a disparaging term for a fearful human is wildly inappropriate. Whoever heard that term is clearly confused, and has never met The Vicious Chicken of Bristol* is a dark alley.

* click the links below to find out more about the Vicious Chicken of Bristol:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sir_Robin
http://bgok.net/

For the record, (1) yes, we are related and (2) no, we are no longer on speaking terms.

It pains me to see to what depths a chicken will descend in the quest to make a buck. My Uncle Geoffrey used to be a self-respecting rooster. He was a paleontologist with Cambridge University. Among his accomplishments was the discovery of Megalogallus javensis, the Giant Javan Chicken. But when he put forth his controversial theory about the Great Question*, he was laughed into obscurity...but now this. Uncle Geoffrey, no! This is an affront to fowl everywhere! Please, get a real job, and a clue! And to my adoring public, please DO NOT click on the link below.

http://www.subservientchicken.com/

* Which came first, the chicken, or the egg?
(His actual theory is much, much, MUCH too controversial even to mention.)

Bawcaw everyone! Get ready to thrill as the world's most charismatic chicken provides yet another wisdom-filled post. But first, the fan mail.

One of my favorite humans sent me a poem. About puppets, no less. Although she did not state it directly, I'm certain that I inspired it, as I am, you know, a puppet.

Here it is:

Umbrella puppets!
Your foam and fabric laughter
Gives me sweet release.

(This was submitted by Joyce K. )

I must say, this is eloquent. And this is coming from someone who knows the true meaning of foam and fabric.

The Big Bad Chicken strikes again!